Mamantics: Real Life - Artificial Problems

At 40 years old, I found myself leaving yet another ‘bad’ relationship—one that had me teetering on the edge between sanity and despair. He had become a poison, slowly draining the life from me until I was brought to my knees. Faced with two choices: to stand up or to lay down, I chose to soar.

Throughout my life, I have embraced many identities: the devoted wife, the rebellious daughter, the wild card, the lost cause, the survivor, the mother, the friend, and the sister. Now, it’s time for me to simply be myself—free from roles and no longer hiding in the shadows. I seek a level of authenticity that celebrates only my best and happiest self.

This journey to self-discovery has felt like an uphill battle.

I’ve been sifting through my baggage, striving to live a light and liberated life by holding on only to what truly belongs to me. I am shedding the chains of my past that have kept me trapped in a cycle of silent suffering, emotional turmoil, and a pervasive lack of joy.

What began as a daily ritual of using cannabis to manage the chaos in my mind and alleviate my PTSD has transformed into a profound journey of unlocking the door to the self-imposed prison I had built. It’s about redefining the meaning of life and reclaiming my true self—becoming the best version of me.

Trauma can shape our existence and turn life into a series of reactive responses. I am on a mission to take charge of my own soul and my life.

Healing isn’t a linear process, and while cannabis isn’t a cure, it certainly helps to ease the chaos and quiet the inner battle that tells me I am still fighting. For me, that is a victory and a positive step to becoming the woman I was born to be, the woman I would have become had the trauma not taken over my life. .