Have you ever been wrongly accused of something? It’s a frustrating and deeply hurtful experience. I believe that who I am today, the person I’ve proven myself to be, should speak volumes. My actions, my integrity, and the way I treat you should matter.
For the past five years, I’ve been unwaveringly loyal. I’ve shown up every day, worked tirelessly, and sacrificed so much to fight for this family. I’ve poured my heart, soul, and savings into us. I’ve cooked nearly all the meals, handled the vast majority of shared responsibilities—including lovingly parenting two children who weren’t biologically mine as if they were my own—and paid almost all the household bills. All I’ve ever asked for in return is honesty, respect, and consistency. Oh, and I’d prefer not to take out the garbage.
Over the years, I’ve sacrificed my social life and personal friendships because of the demands of this family. I am constantly with the kids, and more often than not, even my showers are shared with one of the girls. My entire world revolves around this family.
And yet, here I am, completely floored by an accusation of cheating… because my vibrator moved.
Who monitors where their wife’s vibrator is? Honestly, isn’t that level of scrutiny a little absurd?
Also, let’s talk about the obvious: masturbation is often a sign someone *isn’t* cheating, isn’t it?
To make matters even more bewildering, I just found out I have complete placenta previa and high blood pressure. Let me assure you, I’m not exactly in a position to risk my health—or my baby’s life—by rushing out for some illicit affair. An orgasm could literally have catastrophic consequences for me right now. The entire idea is absurd.
Where has logic gone? Is common sense truly so rare these days?
And for the record—why on earth would I feel compelled to move my vibrator around just for the sake of it?
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