I don’t get out much. You might think it’s because of the kids or the sheer number of them I have, but that’s not the case. I don’t struggle to find a sitter, I can afford to go out, and my evenings are often wide open.
And yet, I can’t remember the last time I went on a real date.
Sure, my partner and I went on a few dates in the beginning when we were getting to know each other. All of them were planned and paid for by me. But when was the last time someone genuinely asked me out, planned something special, and followed through? If I’m honest, it was probably long before my most recent relationship—a relationship that turned out to be a complete mess.
My pattern is clear: I fall into relationships that leave me feeling empty, convinced I can change them. When I fail, I end up wrecking myself in the process.
Each relationship may start differently, but they all end the same way: a total disaster.
Maybe the kind of dates I need aren’t the ones that end with “happy endings,” a kiss on the porch, or a late-night drink. Maybe the dates I long for are the ones that leave me feeling fulfilled, energized, and truly alive. The kind of moments filled with laughter, joy, and a spark of life—not necessarily romantic but still deeply meaningful. Moments like the ones I share with the amazing women who light up my world, even while we’re sitting ringside, watching the blood fly in a boxing match.
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