She's been asking me for weeks to go visit Grandma, normally I wouldn't mind but with everything going on I have avoided going to my in-laws because I know he hasn't said anything to them about where we are at, and he has this unique ability to both make me uncomfortable and piss me off when he uses the kids or people around us to manipulate me into physical intimacy. He would never ask for a kiss when we are alone because I have made it clear I am not there, but somehow whenever we are around people he feels this need to try and kiss me or pull me in knowing that I won't cause a scene.
But today when this little girl asked, after visiting Grandma in the hospital, a visit we weren't sure she was going to survive, I figure I can indulge this little girl who for some reason doesn't seem to want to go without me.
Brgrudgingly I put on my shoes to go, I didn't want to but I was going to indulge her, to be fair my mood has been shit and I have been stuck in my own head, so what's a couple of hours to make up for being an ass?
And what an Ass I was, all she wanted to do was take me on a plastic picnic in grandmas kitchen while she talked to me about school, friends and things like why the sun never forgets to come out and what clouds are made of as if were were sitting on the grass with the sun brigetning our faces.
so today, I simply accept that I am an Ass, and enjoy my picnic with my mini.
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