no no no sweet potato

Published on 3 January 2024 at 12:09

 

I stood in the parking lot, smoking a joint, while she complained that I was taking too long.

She had Christmas gift cards to use up, and tomorrow is her birthday. So here I am, at the biggest and busiest mall in town, playing the role of a reluctant shopping companion.

Me? I’m not exactly a social butterfly—unless we’re stoned together, of course.

I hate malls. I hate shopping. Period.

"Mom, we have to go to David's Tea," she said, with the excitement of someone about to discover treasure. "They give out free daily samples, and they're a must-try!"

She handed me this tiny cup of tea, brimming with enthusiasm. But as soon as I took a sip, I had to summon every ounce of self-control not to spit it out right there on the pristine floor of David's Tea. It was, without a doubt, the most revolting liquid I’ve ever tasted in my entire life.

Whoever fucking thought that making a sweet potato tea was a good idea needs to get their head examined even me as stoned as I was. Couldn't even gag that shit down. 

 

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