I miss him

I will never understand suicide. 

I mean I get the desire for the pain to end for the chaos to dissipate and the world to stop spinning. 

But what is left behind is irrepairable. 

How can anyone make that choice knowing what you leave behind. How it affects the ones we leave behind. 

It affected me. 

I miss you. 

You should have called. 

You should have taken a minute to rethink it. 

You should be here, watching her grow. Teaching her and loving her. 

Instead I watch her grow without you. 

She's beautiful and spirited. She reminds me of you. 

I thank you for the piece of heaven you left me with. I just wish you were here with me watching here grow. 

I wish you made a different choice. 

I miss you