Snow Day

 Snow Day With Six Kids: A Survival Horror Story

Canadians are supposed to love snow days. We're supposed to be all “tobogganing and hot chocolate and making memories!”

Let me tell you about snow day with six kids. It's not a Hallmark movie. It's The Shining with better snacks.

It starts beautifully. The announcement comes — buses cancelled! — and the kids erupt like we won the lottery. I'm smiling. I'm thinking: cozy day. Movies. Cocoa. Bonding.

By 9 AM, the snow gear situation has revealed itself as the logistical nightmare it is. Six kids need: snowsuits, boots, hats, mitts — and mitts are the real villain here, because there are never twelve matching mitts. There are eleven mitts and one existential question.

Getting everyone dressed takes 45 minutes. They last outside for 20. Then it's the re-entry: six snow-covered children shedding layers in my front hall like a avalanche of wet wool, and SOMEONE is crying because snow went down their neck, and someone else is eating it, and I'm standing there thinking about how the pioneers did this without central heating.

Then comes the afternoon. The long, grey, endless afternoon. The crafts last eleven minutes. The movie gets vetoed by committee. Someone says “I'm boooored” and I feel my soul leave my body.

By 4 PM I've said “go play outside” four times and been ignored four times. The house looks like a crime scene. I've eaten an entire sleeve of crackers standing up.

And yet — YET — at bedtime, they're rosy-cheeked and happy, and one of them says “today was the best day.” And I think: you know what? It kind of was. The horror was worth it.

But I'm still buying stock in mitts. Single mitts. Just in case.

What's your snow day survival rating, 1 to 10? I'm a generous 4 on a good day.