Because I said So

 "Because I Said So" and Other Lies We Tell

Every parent has a greatest-hits album of lies. Not malicious lies — survival lies. The little fictions that keep the household running. Here are mine, ranked by frequency:

Number one, obviously: “Because I said so.” The nuclear option. Deployed when the real answer — “because I'm too tired to explain property law to a seven-year-old” — won't land.

“The store is closed.” The store is not closed. The store is open right now. But we are NOT going back in there because someone will ask for the $9 character yogurt and I cannot survive another frozen-aisle incident.

“McDonald's is closed too.” McDonald's is never closed. McDonald's will outlive us all. But the golden arches are a sometimes-food and today is not sometimes.

“If you keep making that face, it'll stick like that.” I have no evidence for this. Zero. But it works 60% of the time, every time.

“Mommy's just resting her eyes.” I am asleep. I am fully, deeply asleep on this couch and everyone knows it, including me.

“We can't — the car is broken.” The car is fine. I just don't want to drive to the thing. The truck and I have an agreement: it stays parked, I stay sane.

Here's the thing though — my kids have started catching me. My oldest now responds to “because I said so” with “that's not a reason, that's a power move.” And... he's right? Ugh. They're learning critical thinking FROM my laziness. I'll take the win.

The best part of breaking cycles? My kids calling out my nonsense — respectfully, mostly — instead of just absorbing it. That's not disrespect. That's the whole point.

What's your most-used survival lie? And have your kids started fact-checking you yet?