Just pick One

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Holiday gatherings are wonderful. They're also a minefield of other people's expectations — the schedule that isn't yours, the opinions nobody asked for, the pressure to be grateful and glowing when you're running on fumes.

So here's a tool I use before every family holiday: I pick my ONE thing.

Not a to-do list. Not a plan. One thing. One boundary, one need, one non-negotiable that I decide in advance — and I hold it, no matter what the day throws at me.

It might be: "We leave by seven, no matter what." Or: "I sit down and eat a full plate before I serve anyone else." Or: "If someone starts on a topic that spikes my blood pressure, I excuse myself to check on the kids."

The power of the one thing is that it's small enough to actually keep. Big resolutions crumble under holiday chaos — "I'm going to stay completely calm all day" is a fantasy with six kids and a house full of relatives. But one thing? One thing I can do.

Here's why it works: holidays steal your sense of control. Everyone else is driving the day — the host's schedule, the kids' needs, the traditions. Picking your one thing hands you back the steering wheel for exactly one mile of the trip. And one mile of steering is the difference between surviving the day and being run over by it.

So before your next gathering: what's your one thing? Decide it now, while you're calm. Write it on your hand if you have to. Then hold it — gently, quietly, without announcing it to the room. Boundaries don't need an audience. They just need you.

Coaching, not therapy — this one's just a small lever that moves a big day.

What's your one thing for this Thanksgiving? I'd love to hear it..